I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
