I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
