we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
