My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
