maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
