i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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