the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
