As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
