Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
