walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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