so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
PANTIES FOUND
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
