Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
