You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
