6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
