Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
