i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
