talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
