If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
