I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
