sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
