You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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