You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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