Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I believe in your delicious
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
