we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
