Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
