Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
