what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
