Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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