It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
