i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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