I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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