if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
