butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
