I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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