put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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