Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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