i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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