How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
