So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
