They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
