Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
