oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
