I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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