Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my being single is dangerous.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
