Kiss
Puke
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
