I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
