That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
