At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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