and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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