Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She even gives head with a lisp.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
