You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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