I'm jealous of your bromance
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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