I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
