Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
